The Day I Officially Became MomZilla
56The Day I Officially Became MomZilla
It is only fitting that I start at the beginning; start with the story of my child’s birth. That was the day I became MomZilla.
That day seems so far in the past even though this first year went by so quickly.
I had a good pregnancy. It wasn’t a hard pregnancy by any means and only became difficult for the last trimester. Diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I was put on a sugar-free / low-carb diet. There is nothing worse for a pregnant woman to suffer through than a diet! No ice cream, pasta, bread, cookies… all the things that made me the happiest after a long and very pregnant day at work. The icing on the cake was the daily insulin shots, which my husband had to give me for I didn’t have the guts (or the stomach) to do it myself. Unfortunately, they didn’t help enough to give me the license to eat again.
The delivery date was scheduled for one week before my due date. I kept hoping I would suddenly go into labor. I wanted so badly to have that moment of surprise and the excitement of rushing to the hospital. Instead, I had an appointment at 7:30 a.m. Unable to sleep, I counted down the hours with too much idle time controlling my thoughts. I felt like I had an appointment to receive capital punishment, a dreadful event now inevitable.
In order to take my mind off things, I decided I wanted a big breakfast. I don’t know if it was that I felt I could eat anything and it wouldn’t matter anymore (finally!), or if I wanted to make sure I got a deliciously good “last meal”. After having a bigger than usual helping of banana chocolate chip pancakes, we headed off to the hospital.
The rest of the morning went by very easily, and quickly! I was put into my hospital room, undressed, and hooked up to the IV for the Pitocin. Already becoming MomZilla, I had done my research and everything was planned out. The hospital was selected for many reasons including a one-room stay, delivery and recovery all-in-one, where they would also allow my new baby to be with me instead of in the nursery. The OB-GYN practice I selected came personally recommended from a friend with 3 children of her own, and was the practice associated with the hospital. The doctor on duty for my delivery today was well known in his field, a friendly and approachable guy, so things could not have been more perfect for this event sure to be the most important day of my life.
The doctor and I discussed my birth plan; mainly I did not want an epidural and I would prefer to have an episiotomy than risk a tear. I had kept my plan short and tried to remain flexible on things not important to me. The two main decisions I made were to have the baby naturally without any drugs to manage the pain and to have an episiotomy so that I would not stretch and tear.
I didn’t wish to have an epidural for a couple reasons. One, I was afraid of the large needle in my back that could cause paralysis and/or nerve damage if not inserted correctly. Two, I had read that sometimes you were so numb you could not push effectively causing the labor to be prolonged. However, my doctor advised me it may be beneficial for me to have an epidural solely based on my high blood pressure. He advised if it got too high I would have to take this medication that had an awful side effect of nausea which I would experience during and long after the labor. As an alternative, the epidural would relax me enough that my blood pressure would likely remain in control. Hmmm… no labor pains and no icky nauseating medicine. A tough choice but I wasn’t sold yet.
The episiotomy desire really baffled my doctor. He said most women prefer NOT to have one. A little embarrassed, I explained that I read an episiotomy would lower the risk of a tear. An episiotomy is not pleasant and takes a bit to heal, but a tear is even worse and takes even longer to mend. I didn’t mention that I was also afraid of my vagina stretching so much that it would never go back to normal. I hadn’t read that anywhere but it was something I believed could happen. Sort of like my favorite sweater that I let my bigger, slightly overweight friend borrow in college. It was returned expanded and misshapen, never to be enjoyed again.
I had invited my mother to witness the birth of her first grandchild, and of course be there for moral support as she had gone through this 4 times au naturel. My husband, my mother and I just chatted and watched TV while the nurse came in periodically to check on me. I was progressing just fine, and without any painful contractions until they turned up the Pitocin.
For those of you that have never had the pleasure of experiencing labor, I don’t think I can describe the pain in any way that would truly allow you to relate. It felt like my torso was fit from my chest to my bladder with some sort of internal vise that would suddenly tighten to half its size. Maybe if your body could implode on itself you could experience the same thing. This was all the convincing I needed to agree to the epidural. Amazing how well and how fast that cocktail of liquid miracle worked.
Everything was good again for the next hour or so. I watched more TV, had flavored popsicles, and waited for my little bundle of joy to be ready to meet her new world. Then the nurse adjusted the amount of Pitocin again. All of a sudden, the epidural wasn’t working any more. Writhing in pain, I cried for resolution. Either let me birth this child or give me more drugs! I still wasn’t ready for active labor and the doctor agreed I could have another visit from the anesthesiologist. I waited for what seemed like an eternity.
The contractions were one right after another, barely leaving me time to brace for the next one. My poor husband did everything he could think of to help make me more comfortable. He massaged my back, stroked my hair, and helped me with the breathing exercises we learned in birthing class. I screamed obscenities and yelled I didn’t want to blow out the f*ing candle anymore as it wasn’t working to alleviate the pain at all.
The anesthesiologist FINALLY came into the room. I think I cried tears of joy when I saw him. I sat up and leaned over, keeping still as best I could as he checked my catheter and administered more of this miracle cure. With everything in place, I lay back down waiting for relief but it never came. Only my legs became completely numb and immobile, and the contractions were getting worse. Now there was this growing sensation that my body was uncontrollably pushing. As if that vise had finally tightened enough to squeeze my insides out like I was a tube of toothpaste.
The doctor came in. He must have seen the desperation in my eyes when he said “well, you’re only 8 centimeters dilated but we can start pushing if it feels better”. I was more than ready to get started.
The rest happened so quickly. All the nurses stood around me coaching me to push and counting down. I pushed with each contraction and I remember pushing made the contractions less intense. They were coming on so rapidly that I had to skip one or two just to catch my breath. After 15 minutes or so the doctor came in to check on how things were progressing, and was surprised to find I almost had the baby crowning already. I was so happy my labor wasn’t going to be one of those “I was in labor for 26 hours” horror stories. Before I knew it, my baby was born and it was all over with.
Or so I thought. Right afterwards the nurses come and push down on your stomach… hard. They said this was to get all of the blood out of your uterus and to allow it to shrink back down to size. Almost as painful as the contractions, but I didn’t care as I was listening to my new baby crying. She was beautiful, and most importantly, she was healthy. In fact, she was a very healthy 8 lbs 10 oz with a full head of hair.
The story really doesn’t end there… I had complications afterward but I don’t want to scare anyone. I lived through it all, and my husband and I have a beautiful little girl. The best advice I can give is take care of yourself, research your options including hospital and doctors, research and create a birth plan but remain flexible in case things don’t go as planned, and don’t forget to think about what support you’ll need after the birth which can be either help with meals or other things around the house. I have posted some links that I found helpful. J
Starting with my pregnancy, life has definitely been a rollercoaster ride. Even more so now that I’ve got a toddler running around. Somehow you manage to keep control of it all; everything from what to have for dinner, making sure the baby gets her vitamins, and figuring out what that weird rash is on her belly. Mom is always there to take care of things, sometimes whether you like it or not. I’m that type of mom… sometimes a little too overbearing and controlling, and all knowing or at least determined to be. I am MomZilla.
